Ep 75: How to Make Your Body Image Suck LESS

In this episode of The Body Grievers Club, Bri jumps into the complex emotions surrounding body image struggles and moving from body grief into radical body acceptance. She outlines her consistent, reliable method for navigating body image experiences and emphasizes the importance of gathering information, separating the story from the emotional distress, and building self-trust. Bri also discusses the role of grief as well as self-compassion in this process and offers advice on coping mechanisms, highlighting the power of community support in the journey towards body acceptance.

TIMESTAMPS
02:02 Defining Body Grief and Radical Acceptance
03:09 Navigating Stressful Body Image
06:02 Medical Neglect and Vulnerability
10:01 Exploring Safety and Connection
19:16 Impactful Reframes
26:18 The Importance of Self-Esteem
28:49 Understanding Trauma Responses
30:50 The Seven-Step Framework
39:31 The Role of Grief in Healing
43:13 The Journey to Radical Body Acceptance

Want more of Bri?
Instagram: @bodyimagewithbri
Website: https://bodyimagewithbri.com/
Join the Body Grievers VAULT: https://www.bodyimagewithbri.com/the-vault
Use the coupon code BODYGRIEVERSCLUB for $50 off your purchase.

TRANSCRIPT

Pain can be unjust and not your responsibility to resolve. There are wounds there because I would love to be able to protect myself from getting hurt. This is one of the reasons I believe many people don’t want to recover into a larger body. They don’t want recovery to mean that their body will change, because they cannot protect themselves from the unjustness. And that gets to suck.

Hi friend, welcome to the Body Grievers Club. I am your host, Bri Campos, from Body Image with Bri. I want to show you how you can stop hating your body and start learning to move through unavoidable body grief so you can live a joyful life in the body you have right now. This is the process of transforming body grief into radical body acceptance. No matter how overwhelming or hopeless your body image feels, you belong here.

Today I’m going to share with you some current body image struggles that I’ve been having and how I navigate through them. In the past I used to be afraid to acknowledge out loud that I was struggling with body image, but I want to walk you through my process. It’s not flashy or profound, but it is reliable and consistent. This process has helped me not only shift current body discomfort but also transform my body grief into radical body acceptance.

If you’re new here, let me quickly define some terms. At the time of this recording in 2025, my definitions may continue to evolve, but here is where I am now. My working definition of body grief is the distress caused by the perceived loss of one’s body. Body grief isn’t just about feeling like your body is holding you back, it’s the distress that comes with that perceived loss. My current definition of radical body acceptance is the willingness to receive my body as it is, not as I wish it to be. My body has no bearing on my humanity, my enoughness, or my worthiness as a human being. I am not a morally better person because of my body.

So those are the definitions we’re working with. Now I want to bring you into my journal and talk about some difficult body image experiences. Something you should know about me is I don’t identify with the phrase “bad body image.” You might wonder why, because of course there are times when things don’t feel good in my body. But labeling body image as good or bad demonizes the experience. The words I use are “distressful body image.” It’s not bad, it’s information. It’s an opportunity to ask: what can I learn from this experience?

As somebody who exists in a super fat body and is both a licensed mental health counselor and a body image coach, I can usually navigate distressful body image pretty quickly. But recently, I noticed I was getting stuck, and I couldn’t figure out why. So I took myself through the exact same framework that I use in my Body Grievers Group Course, the one I guide my clients through. The reason the course exists is because I found a consistent and reliable way to get to the root.

If you’re someone who finds yourself struggling with body image often, the first step is to gather information. Take out a journal or piece of paper and just write down as much as you can. When we notice distressful body image, our first reaction is often panic. I call it the “oh shit” moment, when you feel that wave and immediately think, I don’t want to feel this. But that response robs us of the chance to understand why it’s happening.

When I feel distressful body image, I try to take off my criticism hat and put on my curiosity hat. I want to investigate, to become the Indiana Jones of my body image exploration. I started by writing down everything that might be contributing to my discomfort. Recently, I had been very sick for nearly a month. On top of that, I felt neglected by my medical team. I believe certain things were overlooked that might not have been missed if I were in a smaller body.

Along with the illness and the medical neglect, I’ve also been dating and putting myself in vulnerable situations—joining a choir, auditioning for a solo, even going to improv. All of those things require me to be willing to look silly and expose myself. That’s not easy, and it has stirred up old attachment wounds. Even though I thought I’d be super confident stepping into dating in my fattest body, the truth is I’ve been anxious.

These factors combined—the illness, the medical neglect, the vulnerability—created the perfect storm. So the first thing I recommend is to brain dump. Write it all out. Ask yourself: what’s happening? What could be contributing to this? Why does it feel so charged? What is the story I’m telling myself?

For me, one of the triggers was feeling frustrated every time I looked in the mirror. Clothes didn’t feel right, outfits didn’t look right. When that happens, I know I’m probably disconnected from my body. Sometimes it means hormones, or that I’m about to get my period, or that stress levels are high. But this time, the distress felt different.

I also realized I had been unusually indecisive. Normally, on big things, I trust myself. But recently, I’d been outsourcing decisions to friends. That lack of self-trust was connected to the body discomfort. If I hadn’t paused to explore, I might have missed that pattern completely.

Another factor was my work itself. Body image is my livelihood. I advertise my business on social media, and right now, in the Ozempic era, being in the anti-diet space can feel exhausting. It’s frustrating to see disordered eating marketed as wellness while co-opting body positivity language. It makes sense that the pressure of being in that environment would weigh on me.

The next step in my process is to connect with the part of me that is trying to protect me, even if it’s doing it poorly. When I tuned in, I noticed my inner critic saying, “I need you to second-guess yourself so we don’t get embarrassed later. I need you to criticize yourself so you don’t feel pain down the road.” But the truth is no amount of criticism will ever protect me from future pain. That realization helped me see that my body image distress was really rooted in not feeling safe in my body.

Illness, neglect, rejection, and vulnerability had shaken my sense of safety. And when it doesn’t feel safe to be in your body, body image distress makes sense. At that point, I had two options. I could jump to solutions, or I could acknowledge the lack of safety and grieve it.

So I started a grief list on my phone. I use it when I need to name what sucks without minimizing it or rationalizing it. Naming it helps me move through it. Some of the things I wrote down: it sucks that misinformation about GLP-1 medications is spreading online. It sucks that I experienced medical neglect. It sucks that I feel activated and I don’t even know why. All of those things are allowed to just suck.

From there, I asked myself, if I don’t feel safe in my body right now, what can I do to rebuild that sense of safety? I reflected on times I have felt safe and connected. For me, that often comes through sensory experiences—stretching, resting, being in nature, co-regulation with others. I remembered a time when I felt vulnerable after dating but still went to choir rehearsal. Even though I wanted to stay home, being with others regulated me.

I also paid attention to sensory comfort, like removing clothes that felt tight. That simple act can make distress lighter. Affirmations don’t work for me, but impactful reframes do. Some of the reminders I wrote for myself were: there is safety in surrender. Criticism cannot protect you from rejection and neglect. Pain can be unjust and not my responsibility to resolve.

These reframes help me anchor back into truth. Because no matter how much I want to, I can’t protect myself from injustice by criticizing my body. Shame and self-criticism will never make me safer.

Another piece of my reflection was recognizing the lack of self-trust. To work on that, I wrote down the names of four people I trust implicitly, then listed the qualities that make them trustworthy—compassion, patience, reliability, honesty, non-judgment. Then I asked myself, am I offering those same qualities to myself? Am I being compassionate and non-judgmental toward me? Am I being my own champion?

That is the heart of rebuilding trust with myself. Because if I can embody those qualities toward myself, I can begin to restore that sense of safety.

When distress arises, the key is to separate the story from the suck. The suck is real—it feels bad to look in the mirror and not feel good. But the story is what makes it heavier. In the past, my body image distress would have led to the belief that no one would ever love me, that I’d be single forever. But now, even though I still feel uncomfortable, I no longer believe that story. That’s progress.

The truth is, other people affirming me doesn’t change how I feel. If someone calls me beautiful and my inner critic shouts “lies,” then external validation won’t help. It’s not about other-esteem, it’s about self-esteem. I’m the only one who can release myself from that trap.

Over time, this practice has allowed me to hold body image distress with more curiosity and less fear. I can ask myself, what is this teaching me? What does my body need right now? And sometimes, the answer is as simple as, it needs rest, compassion, and permission to let it suck.

Body image healing isn’t about logic. It’s emotional work. No formula or checklist can bypass that. What we can do is learn to tolerate distress, separate the story from the suck, and show ourselves compassion.

This work takes time. Your body image wounds are as old as the first time you realized your body felt wrong. If that was 20 years ago, then this wound is 20 years old. It won’t heal overnight. It requires compassion, patience, honesty, and being your own champion.

Grief needs to be witnessed to be healed. Sometimes saying the scary thing out loud doesn’t solve it, but it makes it sting less. That’s why I share this process with you. You are my meaning in the grief. If one person feels less alone, then my pain has purpose.

I never imagined I could live joyfully in a fat body. Yet here I am, 100 pounds heavier than in 2015, with a life that is big, beautiful, and full. Still with pain and rejection, yes, but not without joy and acceptance. Avoidance will not protect you from hurt forever. But resourcefulness and community can carry you through.

That is what body acceptance means to me. It’s not conditional on size. It’s not about loving your reflection every day. It’s about being willing to receive your body as it is, to treat it with respect, to be its biggest champion.

The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is compassion, patience, and curiosity. The goal is to separate the story from the suck, and to keep going.

Thank you so much for being here. Your presence gives my grief meaning and reminds me that none of us are alone in this.