Ep. 73: Bathing Suit Gate: Just How Deep Does Fatphobia Really Go?

In this episode of the Body Grievers Club, Bri shares a personal story about the struggles of finding plus-size clothing, per her very own "Bathing Suit Gate". This story explores the emotional toll of fatphobia, systemic retail issues, and societal biases against larger bodies. Bri also identifies the need for radical body acceptance, encourages self-exploration, and shares strategies for coping with body image issues. The importance of reframing harmful thoughts, building healthier self-perceptions, and seeking community support to challenge and unlearn anti-fatness are highlighted throughout this episode as well.

TIME STAMPS:
01:53 Bathing Suit Gate: The Story Begins
04:21 The Search for a Plus Size Bathing Suit
08:20 The Reality of Anti-Fatness
19:51 Books and Resources for Body Liberation
22:14 The Ladder of Beauty Standards
28:06 Navigating Body Image in Relationships and Coping Strategies

Books Referenced:
Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings
The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

Want more of Bri?
Instagram: @bodyimagewithbri
Website: https://bodyimagewithbri.com/

TRANSCRIPT:

Why the fuck are clothes not available? Why are they not accessible for everyone? Why does everyone not have an equitable experience? Welcome to the Body Grievers Club.

Hi friend, I’m your host, Bri Campos from Body Image with Bri. I want to show you how you can stop hating your body, move through unavoidable body grief, and start living a joyful life in the body you have right now. This is how we transform body grief into radical body acceptance. No matter how overwhelming or hopeless your body image feels, you belong here.

Today, I’m going to share a story about clothing and anti-fatness—something I’m calling “Bathing Suit Gate.” I’ll give you the context, tell you what happened, and then we’ll unpack it together.

It was October 2024, my birthday month, and yes, I’m one of those people who celebrates all month long. I’m a Scorpio—it’s part of my personality. A sweet friend of mine wanted to treat me to a day at the spa. I said yes, thank you, and prepared for a fun day.

Since I now live farther away from most of my community—about an hour and a half from the spa—my friend suggested I sleep over at her place so we could head there together in the morning. I’d hosted a masterclass for my membership the night before and, in classic ADHD fashion, thought I’d remember to pack everything I needed. I didn’t make a list.

Around 11:30 p.m., sitting on her couch, I suddenly realized I’d forgotten my bathing suit bottoms. I’d been switching out my seasonal clothes, and the pair I wanted was still in the dryer at home. Cue panic: where could I possibly find plus-size bathing suit bottoms before 9 a.m.? Most stores that carry plus sizes—like Torrid—don’t open before 10.

I started frantically Googling “4X bathing suits” in the area, but store after store had nothing in stock for immediate pickup. Even Target and Walmart’s plus-size sections showed zero in-store options. I considered biking shorts, but again—nothing in my size before 9 a.m. I even thought about asking a friend to loan me a suit, but most of my fat friends live far away.

By 6:30 a.m., I realized the only real solution was to get my bathing suit from home. Luckily, my amazing dad offered to meet me halfway. Still, the experience put me through the stages of grief—anger at myself for forgetting, bargaining as I tried to think of alternatives, and eventually acceptance that my only choice was a long drive.

The deeper issue, of course, is that anti-fatness means there simply aren’t equitable clothing options in stores. If I’d been in a straight-sized body, I could have walked into almost any shop and found something that worked. In larger bodies, our options shrink—often to zero.

I shared the story on Instagram and asked followers for their gut reactions. Many said “fuck fat phobia,” some said they were relieved they still had options, and others admitted this was their worst fear. These reactions reveal a spectrum of internalized anti-fatness—sometimes conscious, sometimes not.

The truth is, if you exist in a body larger than what retailers deem “acceptable,” you’re excluded from experiences others take for granted. And if your immediate thought is “Well, that’s your fault for being in that body,” it’s worth unpacking where that belief comes from. I recommend two books for this work: Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings and The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor. Both dive deep into the roots of anti-fatness and why it persists.

Taylor uses a ladder metaphor to describe beauty standards: there’s no top rung. You can climb forever and never “arrive.” The alternative? Stop climbing—and accept the costs. Yes, sometimes that means I can’t find a bathing suit in a pinch. But I also no longer see that as a personal failing; I see it as a societal problem.

This experience sucked, and I was furious with stores for their lack of options. But I still had an amazing day at the spa with my friend, felt loved and appreciated, and enjoyed the water. My body—at any size—deserves joy and pleasure.

If you’re exploring your own body image, I encourage you to examine your internalized anti-fatness. Take Harvard’s weight bias test. Notice when thoughts of “I should change my body” come up and ask yourself if they align with your values. Healing requires awareness, curiosity, and replacing old narratives with new ones that better serve you.

I’ll be keeping an emergency clothing kit in my car from now on, and making packing lists for even quick overnight stays. Acceptance doesn’t mean I like the situation—it means I acknowledge reality and choose how to move forward.

Body image work is about sitting in the discomfort, letting grief be witnessed, and choosing to participate in life despite systemic barriers. So thank you for witnessing my story. And if you have one, I’d be honored to witness yours.