Ep 78. Boundary Violations at the Doctors + How to Respond with Jenna Talleda

In this episode of The Body Grievers Club, Bri sits down with Registered Dietitian and Intuitive Eating Counselor Jenna Talleda. They talk about what it really looks like to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office. Together, they unpack the realities of weight stigma in healthcare, the pressure to shrink as a provider in a larger body, and the emotional labor of holding boundaries when your care is on the line.

Bri and Jenna name the hidden agendas behind routine weigh-ins, the harm of ignoring eating disorder histories, and the frustration of being gaslit by providers who reduce complex health concerns to a number on the scale. This conversation isn’t just about weight. It’s about agency, self-advocacy, and refusing to co-sign harmful narratives about your body.

They also explore the people-pleasing tendencies that make “no” so hard to say, why fawning is a trauma response, and how anger can sometimes be the most protective force in recovery. If you’ve ever left a doctor’s office feeling dismissed, shamed, or unheard, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone, and your boundaries matter.
 

TIMESTAMPS:

02:05 What weight stigma looks like in healthcare

05:20 Correlation vs. causation in weight + health

08:40 The pressure of being a provider in a larger body

12:10 Imposter syndrome + perfectionism in the work

15:45 Saying no at the doctor’s office: Jenna’s story

20:25 People-pleasing, fawning, and boundary holding

24:10 Anger as protection + why your boundaries matter

27:00 Advice for advocating for yourself at appointments

RESOURCES:

Other episodes mentioned:

Ep 29: Healing the Medical Narrative

Ep 36: Advocating For Yourself at the Doctor

⁠Bri’s Free Resource: 7-Step Guide to Shift Body Grief to Radical Body Acceptance⁠

⁠Get in Touch with Jenna HERE!⁠

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TRANSCRIPT:

Hi and welcome back to another episode of the Body Grievers Club. Today we are going to be talking about all of the things—going to the doctor’s, advocating for yourself as a patient, and even more so, what happens when your boundaries get violated by the people who are supposed to be helping and healing you.

I have an amazing guest today that I’m going to have introduce herself. We’re going to talk about an encounter she had at the time of this recording this year. So, Jenna, introduce yourself to the podcast.

My name is Jenna Talita. I’m a registered dietitian and a certified intuitive eating counselor. I am in a bigger body, and I’ve been working in intuitive eating for eight years now. I know that weight stigma in the doctor’s office is a really big thing. I’ve been trying to prepare myself and understand how to best go about a doctor’s appointment while setting my boundaries and still receiving the care I need.

I do talk to my clients about this. I actually got a set of really great handouts from Maggie Landis—she used to be a pediatrician turned dietitian—and she created these amazing handouts. I share them with my clients so they can learn how to advocate for themselves too. It’s a very near and dear topic to my heart because before intuitive eating, I used to be one of these people. I wasn’t necessarily harping or intentionally causing shame, but it was drilled into my head that I was supposed to work on weight loss with people as a dietitian. Now that I’ve learned about it, I want to change that because I can recognize how detrimental it is to people—how much it affects me, my family members, and my clients. It’s so prevalent, and it takes on this tone that it’s supposed to be helpful, but it’s certainly not.

Weight stigma, weight discrimination, fatphobia, or anti-fatness is a type of discrimination where people in bigger bodies are treated differently than people in smaller bodies. For example, especially in the healthcare system, if a person in a bigger body lists off a laundry list of symptoms, the doctor will just turn around and say, “Oh, just lose weight, you’ll be great.” Meanwhile, smaller-bodied people may actually be gaslit and told, “Your labs are fine, so there shouldn’t be anything wrong with you.” The fact is, treatment is often offered more readily to people in smaller bodies than to those in larger ones. There’s more curiosity and objectivity extended to smaller bodies, while for larger bodies, the solution is always just, “Well, if you lost weight…” You could go in for strep throat and still be told to lose weight.

There’s a difference between correlation and causation. Correlation means two things are related but not necessarily causing each other. For example, there’s a correlation between male pattern baldness and cancer, but nobody says bald heads cause cancer. Causation means one thing directly causes another. There’s enough research to support that obesity does not warrant classification as a disease, yet it’s continually taught as one. There’s also research showing the BMI is flawed, racist, and never intended to measure health—and that there’s no long-term sustainable way to lose weight for more than two to five years. Meanwhile, there’s plenty of research showing the harm of discrimination, bias, and eating disorders. So why is the system so broken? In the U.S., healthcare is for-profit. Doctors get 15 minutes with us and have to categorize us quickly. Does it really promote health—or profit?

You’ve been working in the intuitive eating space. Before we get into the incident, you mentioned being a provider who’s also in a larger body—a dietitian in a larger body. What is that experience like?

It’s been challenging. I’ve been a dietitian for nearly 20 years, and there’s always been pressure to take up less space. My classmates and coworkers were all in smaller bodies. I stood out and always felt pressure to shrink myself. Learning about intuitive eating finally made everything make sense. I’m working toward body acceptance, but there’s still pressure to be “fully healed”—to be the example for clients. I know I’m further along than they are, but I still feel imposter syndrome sometimes. The silver lining is that it deepens my empathy. I understand firsthand what clients are dealing with.

There are so many professions where there’s undue pressure to exist in a smaller body. If you were a dietitian practicing from a disordered lens and then found intuitive eating, your body likely changed—and losing privilege can be uncomfortable. You mentioned imposter syndrome; I get that. I once called my insurance company to bundle home and auto, and when they asked questions I didn’t know how to answer, I spiraled into “How can I be so stupid?” It was that old track of self-doubt playing again. We all have those moments. The world confirms the story that we’re “too much” or “should know better,” but we have to reject it. You’re allowed to be learning. You don’t have to know everything. Healing isn’t about perfection; it’s about awareness.

Perfectionist me wants to disagree, but the healing part of me knows that’s true. That’s the work—holding both truths. Awareness without judgment gives us space to explore. And to anyone listening: healing body image doesn’t mean you’ll never struggle again. It’s like leveling up in a video game—you just unlock new challenges.

Every time I talk to you, I learn something new. Same here! Now, let’s talk about that doctor’s office experience. You shared an encounter where your boundaries were violated. Tell us what happened.

This was about four months ago. I’d had a great provider before—she respected my boundaries and worked around my request not to be weighed. But she left, and when I went back, the new provider insisted on weighing me. I said no. She gave a bunch of excuses—“I need it for medication,” which wasn’t true since we hadn’t discussed any meds yet. Then she said if I fell and 911 was called, paramedics would need my weight, which makes no sense. Paramedics lift people of all sizes every day. I could tell her reasons were made up. I refused. I suspect she wanted my weight to bill for weight loss counseling.

Even sitting there calmly is powerful. People listening—know that not everyone will have that same capacity, and that’s okay. Even professionals get bullied into being weighed. You held your boundary.

I did. And later, I apologized—classic people-pleaser move—but I didn’t need to. I just said, “I’m sorry that went the way it did.” She brushed it off. But she didn’t note my eating disorder history at all. She just wrote “patient declined weight,” which made it sound like I was noncompliant. She didn’t ask about my history, treatment, or care. Nothing.

That’s egregious. It shows bias—prioritizing BMI over mental health. For listeners: you’re not required to provide your weight. Even insurance doesn’t require it. Clinics may have protocols, but those aren’t laws—they can be changed. Trauma-informed care means being willing to accommodate a patient’s trauma and make them feel safe.

She doubled down instead. I wasn’t giving in. My recovery matters more than her protocol. Seeing that number could’ve triggered me, and I wasn’t risking it. Being angry helped me hold the boundary. I’m proud of that.

And you should be. You didn’t let her break you.

For anyone listening who wants to advocate for themselves but doesn’t feel ready—please know it’s okay if you can’t do it every time. I had the energy that day. Sometimes you won’t. My social justice values give me fire, but not everyone can tap into that all the time. The key is education—understanding where these weight-based systems came from. Once I learned how rooted in racism and control they are, it pissed me off enough to fight back.

Did you know the founder of my national dietetic organization was a huge racist? She worked with Dr. Kellogg—yes, the cereal guy—on white supremacist publications. She wrote recipes for his magazine to “preserve white culture foods”—plain, boiled, unseasoned foods labeled as “healthy.” That became the foundation of our profession. When I learned that, I was livid. I even questioned whether I wanted to stay a dietitian. But instead, I decided I’d be the one to change the story—to prove that our work can be inclusive and rooted in celebration, not oppression.

That’s powerful.

Thank you. I want to model that it’s okay to question things, to advocate for yourself, and to take up space. My boundary was clear: I don’t consent to being weighed. That’s it. And I stood firm.

Thank you for sharing your story, Jenna. I know so many listeners will resonate. I’ll include links in the show notes where people can connect with you and your work.

Thank you so much, Bri. Take care.