Is this you?

 👀 Everywhere you go, you look to see if there are any other larger bodied people in the room so you feel less alone. The idea of being the largest person in the room makes you feel so embarrassed, you don't wanna go out.   

🥡 You are trying to order takeout in an effort to listen to your body + honor your intuition, but if you were to say the quiet part out loud: you’re terrified that if you actually let yourself eat what you want, you’ll gain weight.. can you even afford to gain any more weight? What if you don't STOP gaining weight?

😰 The idea of getting on the scale or even knowing how much you weigh suffocates you with anxiety + shame. This makes you avoid going to the doctor. The idea of your body being bigger than it already is scares the sh*t out of you.

But it’s NOT just that you feel these things.

It's that these feelings seem inescapable...

Maybe you're asking yourself:

Why can't I stop fearing what people think of me?

Why can I not stop fearing for my health or thinking my body pain is bad? 

 And what's worse - is not only do you feel these things physically + emotionally... but you probably also feel like sh*t about them too. 

👉🏼 Maybe you fear it makes stupid that you are still so stuck in diet culture...

👉🏼 Maybe you know the things you feel, you'd never say to another person... 

👉🏼 Maybe you feel stuck with one foot on diet cultures ship - still desiring weight loss as a solution to this pain, but also have one foot on the body liberation ship. 

👉🏼 But these ships are going in different directions.You feel forced to CHOOSE a ship...

this is what we call: 

Why grief is keeping you stuck:

1. Sometimes, she is hard to recognize. You may feel like healing is hopeless. The thought of dieting again agonizes you - but letting go of the thin ideal devastates you. This feeling is called grief. 

2. Grief is a lot like carbon monoxide. It steals all the oxygen in the room especially if she goes unnamed. It bleeds into every area of our life; every memory + moment is tainted with this grief

3. Even though you are a smart f*cking human you can't figure out how to get unstuck.